However, there was one book I had to talk about and that was Final Crisis #3. Few times have books disappointed me on the level that this issue did. I'm stuck between anger over the treatment of certain characters to disbelief that a book with this kind of pedigree could turn out this way and disappointment over the completely nonsensical plot and story.
I've tried to put my thoughts into a coherent review, but I'm sure this veers off into fanboy nerd rage more often than not, but you can read the whole dirty details after the jump. I'll have the rest of the reviews up tomorrow to make up for today's lackluster updates.
Written by Grant Morrison
Art by J.G. Jones
Was the Anti-Life Equation unleashed and no one told me? Because that's the only reason I can think of to explain just how bad Final Crisis has gotten. Three issues in and nothing is explained, Grant continues to just jump around to different characters, seemingly at random, as he checks in on his pet characters before giving us the predictable timeskip ending to explain away the whole 'evil won' thing.
When, exactly, is this disaster of an event supposed to start coming together? I know they said it was going to take a few issues for it to start making sense and for things to be setup, but, with a two month layoff, I don't know how many people are going to actually care about this when they finally get around to putting it back on the stands again.
Where did everything go wrong in this issue? I don't even know where to begin, to be honest. We've got Mary Marvel, who you wouldn't even recognize if Wonder Woman hadn't told us who she is, sporting a bald with pink pigtails haircut and a gimp mask, a super-hero draft in the DCU, when everyone is on the JSA or JLA already and all they pretty much needed to do was just send out a general alert to everyone, retarded time travel to explain events that happened in the first issue, like Orion's death, the Anti-Life Equation being unleashed on the world by spamming people's email (Captain America was safe from this - he doesn't even know what MySpace is) and Oracle, Grand Poobah of the internet and hacker god of the DCU, having the bright idea to stop it by unplugging her computer and the list just goes on and on.
This went from your average Grant Morrison story - dense and filled with high concept insanity - to an unabridged disaster in the span of three issues. If the tie-ins weren't so insanely good, I'd be ready to throw in the towel on this event already.
Remember how Batman was captured last issue? No follow up on that. How about the return of Barry Allen? Nope, all we got was some hideous artwork of Jay crying over his disbelief at Barry being back with Iris as we find out Orion died from a bullet from the future shot back in time that Barry was trying to catch for some reason. Oh, and Barry and Wally ran to the future and Barry cries over his own existentialism. What about Dan Turpin and Dark Side? Question is looking for Turpin, but, no, he's not in this issue either. How about Superman and the 'death' of Lois Lane? Well, Superman spent the last day or so at her bedside crying over it. That's it. That is how Libra takes down Superman.
Oh yeah, did I mention Mary Marvel in a gimp mask with a pink pigtails adorned bald head? I did? Well, let me reiterate just how f--king retarded that is.As an aside, was that random character that came to see Superman a part of Final Crisis or just a tool to get Superman into Legion of 3 Worlds? She says she needs to take him away in order to save Lois, but there's no mention of the Legions or time travel or anything, so I was unsure if this would play out in FC or L3W.
Oh yeah, did I mention Mary Marvel in a gimp mask with a pink pigtails adorned bald head? I did? Well, let me reiterate just how f--king retarded that is. It was bad enough they took the innocent and idealistic Mary and turned her into the queen bitch of the universe in Countdown. Now they've walked up to the line between in good and in bad taste and took one running leap past it.
At least the Countdown version of Mary Marvel looked good and there was still some hope for redemption. With this version, who dismembers an Atomic Knight and curses like a sailor, it's pretty much impossible to redeem her, even if you take into account the Anti-Life Equation.
However, the biggest crime of this issue is by the penciller they have as the ghost artist for JG Jones. What, there wasn't a ghost artist drawing this issue for Jones? Seriously? He's responsible for this drastic drop in quality? This issue looked terrible and I couldn't even believe this was done by Jones when I saw the previews and just assumed it was a couple of bad pages or bad scans. When I bought the book and saw just how bad a job was done here, I fully understand and can't wait for Pacheco to "help" finish up the rest of the run.
The biggest crime of this issue is by the penciller they have as the ghost artist for JG Jones. What, there wasn't a ghost artist drawing this issue for Jones? Seriously?How bad was the art this issue? It's not Countdown or anything, god no, but this is a more drastic dip in quality than Bryan Hitch's Ultimates to Fantastic Four. The difference being Hitch is doing his work monthly while Jones has been at this for like 2 years and only put out 3 issues on his own. Such a drastic dip in quality after two issues is a slap in the face to those expecting Jones quality artwork for this event.
One random thing that pissed me off was during the Libra and Human Flame scene. Libra offers Human Flame an old school Battlestar Galactica Cylon helmet as a reward for his faith and Human Flame starts telling him he's a little concerned over how gay Libra is acting. Yes, you read that right. The Human Flame, from out of nowhere, ridicules Libra for acting gay. What did this add to the story? What was the point of it? Just to treat being gay as a derogatory remark? I know he's a villain, but this came out of leftfield and just brought me right out of what little story there was in this issue with some random gay bashing statement.
Another odd moment came with the exiled Monitor (does he even serve a freaking purpose other than to take up pages?) gets fired from Burger King or McDonalds or whatever. Using the word 'gravitron' is grounds for firing nowadays and is the freakiest thing a manager could ever hear, apparently.
The only thing that seemed remotely interesting was the introduction of a German Supergirl (she says she's Supergirl and that Heaven is bleeding and Hell has won. in German) . Is Grant actually going to use the Multiverse in this event or is this just another random scene? Is it even a different Supergirl or is it ours modified by the Anti-Life Equation?
Speaking of Supergirl, she had a new costume design scribbled onto her one scene in this issue that shows a lot of promise over the jailbait version of her current costume.
Regarding the Anti-Life Equation and its delivery system through email, how does that even work? Like 60 or 70% of the world's population that doesn't even own a computer, let alone have internet access. How can someone as well read, technology-wise, as Grant Morrison write something as badly as that? And that's not even taking into account his Oracle screaming for everyone to pull the plugs on the computers to stop it.
I'm honestly not sure how I'm supposed to take this series after this issue. Will it get better? Will any of these random series of events come together into some semblence of a plot? Will I even care in 2 months time when this event starts up again?
Verdict - Avoid It. Bad writing, bad art, a throw shit at the wall and hope something sticks attitude to storytelling, bastardization of characters and a cheap timeskip solution to 'evil winning'. Want an awesome Grant Morrison story featuring Darkside taking over? Ignore this nonsense and go pick up Rock of Ages from his JLA run.