Monday, January 10, 2011

All The Best Comics Have Daddy Issues #12

Yep, it’s the start of the week which brings everyone’s favourite comics/fatherhood column back with another sterling edition. This week I’m looking at comics and how they simply can’t all remain pristine once you become a father. Read on to see the best ways to deal with rips, tears, crumples, and the ever dreaded Rear Admirals.

Breakages Must Be Paid For

If you have a little one then something is going to get broken/ruined eventually. It might be clothes, it might be jewellery, it might be the remote control, or it might just be your comics. You must face the fact that at some stage, eventually, your child will ruin one of your cherished comics.

Now that you’ve accepted that fact you have to know what to do to deal with this crisis. I’ll cut to the chase and give you the hot tip right now:

Deal with it. Get over it. Move on.

If the damage has already been done then there’s not much you can do, quite honestly. Especially if your child is young. The comic might be completely ruined, it might only be slightly dog eared, either way you must accept what it is and smile your way forward in life.

If you are always upset whenever your child drools on a cover or flaps a hand down the front of a hardcover and inadvertently tears the slip case then you are going to be one tense daddio. And that simply cannot be. You have probably spent years loving your comics, cherishing them, keeping them hermetically sealed in bags, with boards to prevent spinal damage, but if you want to read a comic then you have to open it up to the possibility of shock and damage.

You have to accept the damage and move on. That’s the bad news. The good news is, you can minimise this sort of thing occurring in the first place but you need to be diligent.
  • When reading a hardcover, always take the slip case off beforehand. Place it somewhere on your shelves where it will be kept safe.
  • Don’t leave your comics on the floor. You might read your comics on the floor, I know I do, so be careful to always pack them away, even if you’re just getting up to grab a glass of water.
  • In fact, whenever walking away from your comics be sure to secure them in a high and hard to access place, most book shelves are fine. Do not leave them on the floor, the coffee table, the edge of your desk, on a chair, on the kitchen bench, next to the toilet, on a stair, or on the couch. If you do, you’re just asking for fate to send an inquisitive little guy with drooly mouth and hands to get all up in your business.
  • Don’t use low shelves for your comics. Don’t use them for anything really. You might think you can stay on top of things but it’s always that one moment where your back is turned. Don’t risk it. I don’t know, maybe store their toys there…?

There are plenty of ways to safe guard your comics from your kids but the best two pieces of advice I can give you is to just get in the habit of keeping your precious floppies and trades out of harm’s way, and when they still get harmed just smile and laugh it off. It might be hard but there is no alternative. You’re welcome.

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Mister Bee said...

Have you thought about how you might be able to get the little fella to grab something off the shelf at Impact and suck on the corner or drool on the cover? That way, you'd be obliged to buy the damaged stock and technically, such a purchase would fall outside of your regular comic budget.

Anonymous said...

Keep them on the high shelves? Oh ho ho, the great heights shall protect nothing from your child soon enough. I'll be proud enough to say that I was climbing and ravaging the highest of my parents' bookshelves before I hit the age of two. You must relinquish the liberty of safe ownership of goods once you step into parenthood ;)

Ivan said...

My kids aren't getting anywhere near my comics. They're getting their own.

Matt Duarte said...

I like the images of people ripping each other apart, haha.

Most of these also apply if you have house pets. I remember I had to move up my game system when we got our dog, because I was afraid she would chew on the cables, pee on it, etc.

Ryan K Lindsay said...

Hey guys, thanks for the kind comments - always appreciated.

I'm really hoping the little fella doesn't learn to climb, though he is tall, so once he's standing my stuff really needs to hide.

I'm keen to have certain comics go to the kid that he can play with. I don't know which ones I'm willing to sacrifice, but I'm sure I'll find some.

Matt - you calling my kid a pet...? Well, I do want to invest in a leash, so yeah, you're pretty on the money there.

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